Groundhog’s Day: What Shadow Does Scott Walker See?

Posted on February 1, 2012 by

Happy Groundhog Day! « Mrtnns Blog.

(Link is to a great blog; the pic and caption below are from the same website.)

GroundHog Scooter

Legend has it that in Madison, WI on February 2, the rodential ScooterHog will burrow out of his underground tunnel on the Capitol lawn. Should he see a “RECALL” sign he will throw his little paws up in dismay and go into hiding until the recall election, burrowing out only to other nearby states where he can raise funds.

Of course, whether ScooterHog sees the signs or not, he is always happiest with his out of state friends. We in WI will be happiest when he permanently resides out of state.

Walker recently tweeted this:
“My parents joined me & our sons @ Pizzeria Piccola in Wauwatosa for dinner (fund-raiser for boys’ lacrosse team). Mmmmmm”

Nothing unusual about attending your child’s fundraiser. But not many of us in the 99% have kids that play lacrosse. In fact, most of us do not even know how to play lacrosse. But Scott Walker’s kids do. Sure, many public schools have lacrosse teams, but it remains the sport of choice for families that fit a certain mold. It would not occur to ScooterHog that there is anything unusual about his mention of this; he is too deep in his burrow to realize how distant he truly is from most people in the state he “governs.”

Let’s hope that tomorrow he not only sees his shadow, but begins to see his soul for what it is–dirty and pathetically separated from what people really need in a governor.

Posted in Madison, Madison Protests, Recall Scott Walker, WI, Wisconsin protesters | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Golden BDay Golden Chance for My Kids to Know Me

Posted on December 22, 2011 by

The older my kids get, the more I realize how little they know me.

I have a son who has now been married for many years, and has opened his second successful business. He lives thousands of miles away from me, and is also quite distant from me in terms of emotional connection, through no real fault of either ours. Just lack of time, effort, and physical being together.

My second son is the child I feel closest to, though the one I see the least. He is perhaps the most like me in attitude and emotions, however, making it easier to communicate to him how I am on the inside, and how I have processed my past, am experiencing my present, and how it is choosing my future for me.

The three daughters I have that came in such quick succession that they were more “Irish triplets” than anything are very dear to me, but I think are also fearful to understand me as a fellow woman. They need me to be their Mom, and do not want to hear the truths of me having once been exactly where they are now in their lives. For them to see that as true brings up issues they cannot comprehend, and that complicate their own lives to such an extent that they become upset and angered.

The youngest three are still too young to care about their parents as real people.

21st Golden BirthdaySo, this occasion of my daughter’s golden birthday….it was a big deal for her. I share a birthday that happens on the 21st of the month,  and like her, I once looked forward to it. I had many friends at her age, and the tradition of being able to finally being able to go out with one’s friends and get a drink in a bar was the same as it is now. The only difference for me was that I was quite pregnant. No drinking for me. I was carrying that first child, and was giving him every chance to grow healthy. I do remember feeling bitter on that night, though, especially because my new husband spent it not with me, but at a Christian Retreat with other teenagers and young people, which is where he had met me. And he had made it clear that I was not to go out with my old friends from my high school, as I was now a married woman who could no longer associate with them, as it was inappropriate. So my Mom came to visit from Ohio. Woo-Hoo, happy birthday to me. (Thanks, Mom, for being there….at least I was not alone.)

I knew even then that I was changing some very, very essential things about myself to conform to this mold that was the Christian Catholic Wife/Mother. It felt like a game, or a TV show, and as long as there were some adoring viewers (other girls who had wanted Rick, others guys who had wanted me) I didn’t mind playing. But when scenes came up that weren’t what I expected–super controlling husband, terrible sex, exhaustion, serious illness–it failed to be fun, and I had to grow up, fast. I did that growing up right along with my kids.

I guess that is what my kids really don’t know about me. The older kids were not born to an adult mother, but to a child herself. I lacked any understanding of what I was getting into. Even in marriage. I still remember feeling a smirk on my face when my long time boyfriend Tom showed up at the wedding and I passed his crestfallen face at the end of the ceremony with Rick. I was thinking “ha ha, Tom, showed you!” as though he could somehow change the outcome and sweep me away. There was definitely something wrong, something so essentially flawed in my maturity level, but I was not letting that show to the right people. Some saw it, and tried to tell me, in fact many did. Many told Rick too. But we went right ahead.

Now, nearly 30 years later, none of those years “happily married” we have 8 kids we both love more than words can describe. For them we have both been willing to sacrifice our own personal happiness day after day after day. There is incredible resentment on both sides. I don’t pretend that Rick doesn’t harbor a fair amount of anger and bitterness towards me, and wish that things were different. For me, I can’t get past that he was 35 years old, and pursued a marriage to a 19 year old with a recent and severe brain injury. It feels very creepy to me in hindsight and makes me unable to interact with him as a husband now. When I could still believe in God, I could do it by using religion as a crutch, but without that, on my own Free Thought Feet, no.

So I guess it’s just a time of my daughter’s life that has made a part of me come full circle. She went out drinking tonight with her older sister and an older brother and two girlfriends. Her one friend and older brother brought her through the front door at 4AM, and she was saying “I’m sorry, Mom” while the friend tried not to laugh, but her brother did snigger. “I threw up in the street.” She smelled like she had. Her brother informed me that she had been apologizing all night for something. It is how she is, someone who always says she is sorry. We got her tucked in, gave her a bowl (just in case) and a glass of water. After me assuring her I was not at all angry, she said she felt “so much better”. And it all seemed right. She said “I will never do this again. I’m an adult now; time to start acting like one.”

Such wise words. A childhood should enfold safe in your family, and then when you feel grown, THEN you seek your adult life. She is ready to go find it now, bit by bit. Maybe I will find my grown up self along the way, too.

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A quick note on chronic kidney stones

Posted on December 9, 2011 by

I passed my first kidney stone when my husband and I were on the way to his parent’s 50th Wedding Anniversary Mass & Dinner. I had a newborn–it was either our 4th or 5th child, so I was in my mid-20s. Having had some wicked UTIs (urinary tract infections) in the past, I assumed when the pain started that that was what this was again, and called my ob/gyn, who called in a prescription for me that we picked up as we headed out of town. I guzzled juice, and leaned over the car seat nursing the baby.

But as we continued down the highway, the pain got much, much worse. It got so bad that I became convinced that organs in my body were shutting down, and that I was, in fact, dying. I was begging Rick to get me medical help. He was getting rather annoyed with me, telling me “it’s just a urinary tract infection, Kathleen! Give the medicine time to work, there’s nothing else that can be done, and we’ll only be late for my parent’s big event!”

He was right, of course. But I figured he go on without me. I had my own plan. We were doing about 65 m.p.h. in a Suburban, and I thought, “Well, if I just pitch myself out of this truck onto the road, I will probably die instantly, or at least shortly thereafter, and then the pain will stop.” This seemed perfectly logical to me, so I began to open the door to jump out. I believe it was at that very point that Rick took me seriously and headed for the nearest hospital, presenting his very well dressed, albeight LARGE young family to the E.R., where they took one look at me, heard my symptoms and took me right back. A nurse kindly asked, “Honey, is this your FIRST kidney stone?” and I was so relieved! “oh, that’s what it is? I was afraid I was dying!” I told her.

I knew about kidney stones. My maternal grandfather was quite a stone quarry himself. So I knew they hurt and you could make lots of them, though one usually didn’t make that many of them. The doctors that day said they knew mine was a doozy, as I had all natural birth with the many kids all one and a half years apart from each other in the waiting room, including Mr. Forceps for Charlie Brown Head. So I knew pain. Plus I’ve had several concussions, had the left side of my face and skull rebuilt, a broken right leg….let’s just say it’s a long list.

But now, more than twenty years later, I’ve had four surgeries for stones that were too big to pass on their own, including one when I was eight months pregnant. It’s been hard. I make kidney stones ALL THE TIME. Lately the pain has been very, very difficult to live with. Today I had a CT Scan that showed four stones in the left kidney, and “only” 12-22 in the right. That kidney is weird, because I was one of those in-utero twins that absorbed her twin, and I have some “extra” parts, including a kidney on that side that works, but screws up how I collect. So it’s like having two crappy kidneys on that side.

All of the stones are small enough, technically, to pass, but that is a LOT of stones to pass in the coming days, weeks, months. A lot of pain to look forward to. And while they are conducting new sets of tests to see exactly what kinds of stones I form (I make more than one type) there is little hope of being able to do much for it. Because of my mitochondrial disease, some of the treatments are out, as I take drugs for my other problems that I can’t take with the kidney stuff. So I am looking at some serious stuff. You can’t live with these major organs, and it’s not much of a life when you are in pain all the time.

I feel crotchety, and will definitely take it out on politicians. Dang nab it.

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Happy and Fulfilling End of the Fourth Fiscal Quarter, Jon Stewart

Posted on December 9, 2011 by

And Here Is My New Year’s Wish List:

It seemed like war within the borders of the United States was inevitable, excuse me, ANOTHER war (there’s already the War on Terror, the War Against Drugs, the War Against Obesity, and the War Against Sanity, the latter of which has clearly been lost to the War of He/She with the Most Cash Wins) was due, and so when the Daily Show officially declared a War on Christmas, I was ready to sign up at my nearest secular non-armed services recruiting station. Or at least sign a petition. Barring any such effective action, I have at responded to those who force their cheery “Merry Christmas!” greetings upon me (one after I just learned that I have 15-22 more kidney stones to pass, ho-ho-ho) with a reciprocal “and a pleasant end of the fourth fiscal quarter to you.” She seemed a bit nonplussed.

Since the Daily Show so often fulfills, at a national level, my most sinister or persistent thoughts, I rarely take time anymore to express them myself. But since I find myself sleepless tonight, I thought I would take a few moments to reflect on what I would love to see happen as 2011 draws to a close, that would leave my little section of North America a better place for the children I brought into this world.

  1. The standard that any person wishing to be elected to the level of any office at the state level or higher be forced to pass the same test covering the U.S. Constitution and other topics of citizenship that any immigrant to our country be forced to pass before becoming an American citizen. If said person does not get 100% on this written exam, they are unqualified to run for office, and should be deported to Gitmo for further evaluation as a possible terror suspect. In fact, we should test all current members of Congress right away in this method, as I think there are some suspects in there now.
  2. All persons running for elected office in our United States will have their election publicly funded by taxpayer dollars, thus eliminating the influence of corporate and lobbyist funds, PACs, Super PACs (though I do believe in a better tomorrow, tomorrow) and private donors, from said elections. If they doth protest too much, we will ask them how much they thought they were going to be getting from these “donations” and demand they do. It will be “donated” to a later point…
  3. Lobbyists must go. Elected officials that argue otherwise are obviously corrupt, and they go too. In fact, they can go together. I suggest Iceland.
  4. No health care provided for elected officials or for anyone making over $100,000 per year until health care is provided for every child and disabled person in this country. I think it would all come together quite quickly then. (See donations in #2 for a jump start.)
  5. Congress cannot make laws that change anything in the Constitution just by throwing it in there, as they are attempting to do right now with Senate Bill 1867, The National Defense Authorization Act, which authorizes the military to detain American citizens indefinitely anywhere in the world – including U.S. soil – without any of the rights that surround habeas corpus. Everyone add “In the Garden of Beasts” by Erik Larsson to your reading lists right now. Think it can’t happen here? Don’t delude yourselves. It IS happening, all we lack is the charismatic leader. Thankfully, Grover Nordquist is ugly as sin.
  6. The ratio of pay between a CEO and the average worker should not look like this:
    Pay Ratio CEO vs. Avg. Worker

    Does the United States look a bit askew to you? I like Japan's figure better, too.

    7. Police violence against peaceful protesters is unacceptable and will not be tolerated by Americans. When citizens witness it, they will rise up in mass, knowing it foreshadows terrible things, and demand justice by joining in greater crowds who peacefully protest. There won’t be enough pepper spray to take ALL of us. Have you seen a WalMart parking lot on a Saturday morning? Come on people!

    8. Fox News will go off the air from lack of viewers as people finally understand they are being constantly fear-mongered to, lied to, and told completely hypocritical bullshit. This will nearly instantly make them realize that conservative talk radio also makes them unreasonable and fearful and they will stop listening to it. The I.Q. of large swaths of the country go up by them simply ceasing to listen to these elements. (I can dream…)

    10. My final wish is for religion to be used only by those who truly need it, such as elderly people, or those facing death, and even then, only as a “well, I sure hope there’s-a-somethin’-after-this” kind of religious fervor, where they maybe pray for a fast death. But beyond that, I hope with near religious zest, that people of great faith give it a rest already, as they tend to be the most pompous, arrogant and mean-spirited people in existence.

    These are my wishes for the year. Maybe I will make a time capsule and see if the Daily Show writers do anything similar. Sometimes I think I’ve missed my calling by not putting in a job application in the Big Apple, but it seems they have all the fed up, media obsessed, able to recall every clip and oddity they have ever seen, middle aged ex-stoners they need. Plus, I don’t smoke, and somehow I imagine all writers must smoke. If I take it up, maybe I will get in touch, just for the hell of it–at that point, life is pretty over anyway.

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Conservatives Right Again; It’s so much better being poor NOW than it was in the 70s!

Posted on July 29, 2011 by

I just had the pleasure of reading The Heritage Foundation‘s report “Plugged-In Poverty: Half of America’s Poor Have Computers” and it was an eye-opening, thorough report on how great our nation’s poor (including my own family!) on toughing out the lean times in the good old U.S. of A. Enough whining liberals! Tax US more, and stop asking for the rich to pitch in!!! Wait until you hear what those who qualify as poor (a family of four earning less that $22,000 a year qualifies) is living on Easy Street with:

  • a Refrigerator (probably has a freezer attached too!)
  • a Microwave! (so we can not only keep food cold, we can heat it up, too)
  • at least TWO color TVs
  • a VCR–and you know how valuable a VCR is! I even know a family who owns a beta max version, but they are really stuck up about it
  • a DVR (it’s probably one of those ones you get with a box of eggs at Easter though, not the cool Red Laser ones that you can tease the neighbor’s dog with)
  • a video game station. The article says “such as XBox or PlayStation” because those are the systems they know. But Goodwill and St. Vincent de Paul usually don’t sell those, so the poor people we know own more like Super Nintendo 64 or Sega. But, yeah, they are awesome, and “pretty much the same thing”  so you give YOUR kids that and I am sure they won’t notice the difference. Then drop their PlayStations, XBox’s and all the games by one of our neighborhoods, or St. Vinnie’s and that will be a cool proof of your investigation for the article.
  • Computers! Well, this I don’t believe. My kids attend public schools, and the teachers there are always complaining about the number of kids that don’t have them at home. Our city libraries have waiting times to use the ones that are there. So I don’t know where they come up with that.
  • Cable & Internet: If you have a TV, you must have cable, since antennas don’t work anymore….as to internet, see above statement on computers.

The article also points out that liberals like to show the poor living in vans, and that kids go to bed hungry, and overstates how many people in the U.S. actually are hungry. Robert RectorAuthor Robert Rector makes it sound like maybe only 4 or 5 kids in the whole country actually go to bed hungry as a result of poverty, but they’re fine the next day, though they probably get fed the “wrong” food by uneducated parents. I suspect Mr. Rector has never stepped out of his comfort zone and visited the Applachian area of our great land. Or the inner cities during the blizzard seasons. How about the heart of foreclosures? Would he care to come help at the food pantries? Because there are a LOT of families coming for help, and the kids look really sad–they get awfully happy to see a favorite cereal brand, or a box of fruit chews. That stuff makes their day, Robert.

Here’s the thing, Mr. Rector: I know you, or at least the people who are LIKE you. It gives the Heritage Foundation great joy to find any nuggets that it can share with its Christian conservative readership that will console their tender hearts and make them feel better about living lives “as fully as (their) God intends.” They are encouraged to pray to be open to success in their personal lives, and to know that (their) God wants them to be happy and fruitful here on this earth. You take isolated pieces of Scripture, most of the Old Testament, and use them to make them feel that they can ignore the “red words” of Jesus in the New Testament that are clearly the important ones to people who really profess to be Christians–the ones about loving your neighbor, and caring for the poor. Those don’t fit your agenda.

I get all this, because I have bonafide right-wing, Catholic/Christian/conservative credentials. For 24 years of my married life, I lived in Rockford, IL. I lived the life, fully believing in all of that bullshit. I worked on numerous Republican campaigns, including multiple times for Don Manzullo, currently the 16th District Rep. for the State of IL. I also did a lot of pro-life work, which is where I met Allan & Betsy Carlson, who was President at the now also-famous-as-your-Heritage-Foundation-is “The Rockford Institute“.

Betsy & Allan Carlson

Betsy & Allan Carlson, of The Howard Center

But there was a big argument there about Neoconservatism vs Paleoconservatism, and Allan & Betsy went Paleo and started The Howard Center in 1997. They attest that they “value the natural family” which they see as only one man and one woman.” They don’t go out of their way to attack gay men and women, but rather bask in their WINS, such as when Allan Carlson won a case in the state of Washington, challenging that state’s marriage laws, that allowed all couples to marry. He took it to the state Supreme Court and argued that:

When it comes to preserving traditional marriage and the natural family, it’s typically been judges versus the people. (emphasis added) Finally, several judges are heeding their constitutional mandate to uphold the law instead of creating a right for homosexual marriage and mandating social engineering.”

Yes, Robert Ranter–oops, I meant Rector and Allan Carlson, people like you are realizing that you can’t just allow the people of this country to speak the truths, or to use their ONE PERSON ONE VOTE system any longer. It is so great that the Republican party saw the importance of throwing millions of dollars into electing JUDGES so that cases would go the way you want them to. So now our judicial system, long the last bastion of hope to the common citizen, is also becoming nothing more than a corporately purchased, sold-old to the highest bidder/lobbyist tool of the conservative movement. And it looks now like the Carlsons are pushing something called Marriage CoMission, which could be like a Marriage Encounter thing on Christian Conservative Quaaludes.

I have more to say about my prior involvement with these whack jobs, and how scary their agenda truly is. I fear them, with their zealous belief that because they have their God, THEIR JESUS, on their side, they are not right, but righteous that we will see more crazy lies of the type coming from the Heritage Foundation. They and Fox News can try to disinherit the Norway Shooter, but I bet if that guy had not gone on a killing spree, Robert Rector would have read his manifesto and encouraged him to start his own ”Institute”.

It’s what all the cool conservatives do.

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I need more cowbell in my life

Posted on July 27, 2011 by

Reflecting on the times I’ve been happiest so far in 2011, I came up with the following “Top Three”:

  1. Singing, with my daughter Annie, from the First Floor of the Wisconsin State Capitol Rotunda, just after we received a citation for “illegally” holding a banner with the words of our state constitution’s declaration of our right to being doing just that, the words of “Bring Back WI to Me” along with about 150 other members of Madison’s thugocracy.
  2. Listening to Wild Child owner, Bill West, belt out “Solidarity Forever” (every verse, too–he knows them all, by heart) on the stage at a fundraiser for the Autonomous Solidarity Foundation on Mother’s Day at the High Noon Saloon.
  3. Playing “more cowbell” than ever before in my life, and louder than I ever believed that I could, outside governor Scott Walker‘s office on a cold, clear day with about a dozen other protesters while we waited for a Supreme Court ruling–it did not go the way we hoped it would, but it was still great to be surrounded by thousands of others who were there because they hate to see our state being taken over by those who love money more than people.

So a bit of a theme seems to be emerging from these moments. They all involved political action, and they all involved music. Clearly, though, I have not been making either of these activities high priority for myself since school let out. With a few extra kids home for the summer, I have been busier than usual. And, let’s face it, you can take the Christian out of the Mommy, but you can’t take the guilt out of the Mothering. So I find myself up and ready for the day, telling myself (and my kids) that Mom IS going to the Solidarity SingALong at noon today, but then there are bills to be paid, and groceries to be bought, and primer words to be practiced, and friends play dates to be arranged and car pooled, and….you get the idea. I give up on my own plans. It’s a MOM thing.

Don’t misunderstand and think I’m some great mom though; not at all! In fact, I am terrible at it. Sure, I pay the bills, do the insurance billing, schedule the doctor’s appointments and take the kids to all of those, and set up the play dates and such, but when it comes to do the things a really good mom should do, as in *playing* with your kids–after 26 years of “attachment style” parenting, I am ready to be UNattached. I still do sleep with our youngest child (she has nighttime seizures, so it’s safest anyway) and she also suffers from a lot of anxiety, so I can’t be cold and cruel. But I also am too selfish to pretend play endless games of Pokemon and set up the old Candyland board for THAT level of non-stop action. Luckily she is getting old enough to play Yahtzee soon, and I hope she’s about ready to like that. The thing is, I am just a bit of a bitch.

It’s true, I am. I could blame the non-stop uric acid kidney stones that I have (totally true–these are the hooked kind) that I just have to put up with “always passing at least one, usually more than that at a time” from one or both kidneys. You try being pleasant while suffering this level of pain. And then there’s the elevated level of lactic acidosis caused by my mitochondrial encephalomyopathy (also known as MELAS), that lately has been causing me to form small tumors throughout my body, including in my brain. Yeah, that’s pleasant, especially wondering how big the one in my brain will get! Not to mention the sundry and other oddities that my body has managed to mess me up with, whether MELAS related or not. It all makes me worry how much of it I have passed on to these kids that I love much more than myself….(Answer; TOO DAMN MUCH, this I know already!) and makes me internalize huge measures of it, where I prefer to shut down behind a great book, a long TV series on Netflix, or anything on the computer, rather than interact on any deep and meaningful level.

I still do interact and often, especially with my wise and witty older kids. It’s the youngest two (ages 13 and 7) that I feel guilt about, they are the ones preventing me from making close adult friends. But I need my Leftist Cocktail Parties to exist in real time and space, and not just in the Tardis of my mind. So I vow to now vote on where these LCPs will be and then to make every effort to attend. There just  better be music when I get there. If not, I may be forced to demand it….

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Senate Republican Leader Scott Fitzgerald bringing new jobs to Wisconsin

Posted on July 25, 2011 by

****** This is a  PARODY BLOG, intended for humor only. I do not really believe that Scott Fitzgerald or any other Republican can bring jobs to Wisconsin, no matter how hard they ponder how to do while picking their noses and giving to the rich while stealing from the poor**************

Oh, sure, we’ve heard about others bringing jobs here to Wisconsin. Do a simple Google search, and they come up:

  • On July 23, 2011, Governor Scott Walker (may his name be praised forever) announced that Wisconsin created 9,500 jobs in Accommodations & Food Services! Yes, over 9,000 of my fellow citizens are now employed in minimum wage jobs, serving food, making beds, and cleaning up after those who come to visit the Wisconsin Dells. Never mind that during the same month that these jobs are reported that Scotty Walker FIRED 3,400 government jobs that were able to support a family and included health benefits. Those lucky slobs should be up in Delevan now cleaning hotel rooms and thanking Walker for it!
  • On January 27, 2011, Governor Pat Quinn of ILLINOIS had an announcement about 130 new Wisconsin jobs, too–he was moving them to his state. American Aluminum Extrusion Co. went south rather than stay here. They recognized what a huge loss the high speed rail was to our state of Wisconsin and the havoc that Walker would bring to our school system. They wanted none of it. So they made a prudent move. What a shame for us, but I  know they did what they thought best, just as we moved our family FROM Illinois to Madison 2 years ago, never suspecting that a radical like Walker could be elected here. Too bad  we can’t afford to move back–but some of us love it here and are going to fight for the great state of Wisconsin.
  • We can say that one Republican, Scott Fitzgerald, has today brought the two parties, Republican and Democrat, together in a very special way to create not only temporary (albeit unpaid) jobs. For Scott, during sessions, has been observed on numerous occasions “mining” his brain (via his nose) for new ideas on what to do to solve the current crisis. Thus far he has only come up with boogers. We who watch him have noted his perplexed wonder with his troll bogies. What should he do with them? He is not the sophisticated kind of man who carries a handkerchief…so placing the snot balls, once he has played with them for a bit, rolled them around on his pant leg and observed them for a bit, making sure all the mucus has mixed in properly with the dried bits of nose loogie…well, then it is time to simply dispose to the nostril candy under the nearest hard surface, usually the chair upon which he sits. And while we appreciate all these readily available DNA samples for reasons I won’t discuss here, others are tiring of watching this Proof-of-Evolution vs. Creationism display by Mr. Fitzgerald. Thus, we’ve been inspired to spend some time thinking that the only right thing to do is to realize that he has been unable to conclude that the only RIGHT thing to do is to use tissues when he needs to remove his next slimy rollers and crusty flickers.  And, hopefully, when he does, he will think of us. I know I will never view another person’s nasal crust without thinking of him.
Scott Fitzgerald digging for gold

Scott Fitzgerald mining for ideas



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Book Review: We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed with Our Families: Stories from Rwanda

Posted on July 2, 2011 by

We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed with Our Families: Stories from Rwanda by Philip Gourevitch

There are no firm figures on how many people perished in the 1994 genocide in Rwanda. Possibly one million, perhaps more. But each of them were a son or daughter. Each were loved by their families. The women, even the youngest of them, were raped, often repeatedly, and often in front of their children, their brothers, their friends, their mothers and fathers. They were not gassed or shot (at least not most of them.) They were mostly hacked to death with machetes and hoes, by their own neighbors and former friends and co-workers and priests and preachers. And the world knew it was happening, and allowed it to continue happening.

Few of us choose to read the details of such things. This book is not a blow by blow book of gruesome details. There are some horrific, graphic details, just as there should be. But mostly Philip Gourevitch does a remarkable job of helping us understand the politics of Rwanda and of how the people of the area came to this point of being able to decide to annihilate an entire group of their fellow human beings. It is not that is is *actually* easier to understand–how can it be? But it is so necessary to try to comprehend the failure of the local and the international community, not only so that it does not repeat itself, but because it is SO LIKELY TO BE REPEATED.

There were three things that I bookmarked to point out in this already too long review. Even if you do not read the book, I was horribly disappointed to learn the following:

1. The failure of “CHRISTIANS” and the CATHOLIC CHURCH. Most Rwandans are, in fact, Christians, and turned to the churches for protection when the massacres began. Imagine their horror when their pastors began helping to kill them. Worse, the Virgin Mary was apparently “appearing” at the hilltop shrine of Kibeho, and the Catholic Church has stated that she definitely did appear there. This, despite the fact that the Virgin Mary gave a message to one of the visionaries, Valentine Nyiramukiza, saying that the Hutu President who ordered the genocide was with her in heaven! The Tutsis who took refuge in the church where she was appearing were defended by only one of the priests there; the other dressed himself like a militia man and armed himself with a rifle, shooting into the crowd. There is MUCH more on the matter–read the book.
2. The compliance of the HUMANITARIAN EFFORTS. I clearly recall the time after the genocide when Rwandans were depicted in massive refugee camps, and being under the impression that these were the same Rwandans who had been the *victims* of the genocide, fleeing their country to remain alive. How wrong I was when I sent money to the effort to stop the cholera and starvation. These were, in fact, the Hutu killers, driving their fellow Hutus out of the country and forcing them (through threat of death and actual murders when necessary) to stay there. In the camps they received free health care, food, and shelter, and were also able to regroup and plan their next attacks on the Tutsis! The reason for the starving children was not even a lack of food, but that the soldiers TOOK THE FOOD FROM THE CHILDREN–that is the level of evil these men possessed. The UN soldiers were ordered to simply stand by and watch the continued murders occur before their very eyes. The next book I want to read on the subject is by General Dallaire, who pleaded to be effective, but was denied.
3. The complete failure of the UNITED STATES. I have always admired Bill Clinton and Madeline Albright, and eventually they did come around and apologize. But we failed the Tutsis completely and never did help them, really. The world has failed to acknowledge that a genocide took place. While the Jews of the Holocaust are told “Never Forget”, the Tutsis of Rwanda are told nothing BUT “forgive and forget and live with your killers.” In fact, they are expected to live right next door to the very murderers who they saw slaughter their own families! And we won’t give them a dime for mental health services…

The Genocide Convention was passed after World War II, I always thought so if another genocide was to happen, the world would step in to stop it. Clearly it does not exist to do anything but take up space on paper. It is time for the countries of the world to re-evaluate and recommit to this important document. I am not sure that the United States has the stomach to do the right thing. We seem to use force only when oil or wealth is involved, which is when I oppose the use of force.

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IL Governor Blagojevich vs. WI Governor Walker: The Wrong Guy Is Going to Prison

Posted on July 2, 2011 by

I was born and raised in IL. My 8 children were born there, too. It’s been just shy of two years that we moved to Madison, WI, in order to live closer to the Children’s Hospital that provides health care to the critically ill youngest members of the family, and also to get the benefit of living in one of the greatest communities in the world. It was a shocking blow to us when Scott Walker was elected governor and turned this state into the Tea Party ruled nightmare it has become in just six months.

This past week, the governor of our home state of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich, was convicted on 17 counts that included perjury, corruption and other charges related to attempting to sell the Senate seat vacated by President Obama. He is the 4th IL governor of the past 7 to be sent to jail for felony charges, making our Land of Lincoln a bit of a joke to the rest of the world right now.

But here is what the rest of the world does not quite get about IL and our understanding with the politicians we keep electing. We know the truth about ALL politicians, and perhaps we are just way more honest with ourselves in Illinois than the rest of the nation is. We know they are corrupt. Or at least they become that way. We know that they take money from lobbyists and others and that they get benefits from their positions in government. I mean, really, who wants the job of President of the United States for a measly pay of $400,000 plus $50,000 in expenses, when CEOs in this country make an average of $9.25 million? Our expectations are, therefore, not set quite so high for politicians in IL. Sure, we must flush out the most dastardly of their crimes, mainly done by the opposing party pointing fingers at the crimes discovered by the felons in their enemy’s party. But it explains why nothing ever changes, including the big family names, in Chicago and statewide politics.

As for Rod, while he was busy lining his personal pockets, he also took care of a lot of the poor people of the state. It was backing of AllKids that dramatically improved the health of the poorest and sickest children of our state, assuring that all kids, no matter where they came from, received health care. Contrast THAT with the supposedly CHRISTIAN WI Governor Scott Walker–who is cutting $466 million from the state’s department of health services over the next two years. Oh, and NO public hearings on any of it either. Heaven forbid the public get to express their dismay about this and that the Republicans have to face the disabled and children that they are hurting and in some cases will actually KILL by doing this. It is a profound mystery to me how Republicans, the vast majority of whom profess to be Christians, can refuse to provide health care to the disabled, the poor and to children, whether citizens of this country or not. Do they actually READ their Bibles? I’m an atheist, but I’ve read their “good book” several times, and the words of Jesus were even printed in RED, for easy reference, yet they seem confused by his admonitions.

“Then they also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?” (Matt 25:44)

Oh, what’s that, Jesus? When we refused to give health care to the residents of our state? When we slashed funding? When we would not even hold hearings? I think Scott Walker and his cronies had better hope that I am right and there is no God, or they are in deep doo doo. If they are right and their Lord does show up, they are getting in a world of hurt according to this next verse Jesus spoke:

“But when the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the angels with Him, then He will sit on His glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered before Him; and He will separate them from one another, as the shepherd separates the sheep from the goats; and He will put the sheep on His right, and the goats on the left.

“Then the King will say to those on His right, ‘Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’ Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’

 “Then He will also say to those on His left, ‘Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels; for I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me nothing to drink; I was a stranger, and you did not invite Me in; naked, and you did not clothe Me; sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me.’ Then they themselves also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not take care of You?’ Then He will answer them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.’ These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.” (Matt 25:31-46)

So, as much as I don’t believe in God, I would love to see that happen. And I believe that Scott Walker would go into eternal punishment, while Rod Blagojevich would be welcomed into eternal life. Because, really, one did a lot more living like the Bible asked while admitting to being a liar and a crook, while the other claims to love the Lord and lives like someone Jesus would want nothing to do with. He even talked about these two guys.

“But what do you think? A man had two sons, and he came to the first and said, ‘Son, go work today in the vineyard.’ And he answered, ‘I will not’; but afterward he regretted it and went. The man came to the second and said the same thing; and he answered, ‘I will, sir’; but he did not go. Which of the two did the will of his father?” They *said, “The first.” Jesus *said to them, “Truly I say to you that the tax collectors and prostitutes will get into the kingdom of God before you. For John came to you in the way of righteousness and you did not believe him; but the tax collectors and prostitutes did believe him; and you, seeing this, did not even feel remorse afterward so as to believe him. (Matt 21:28-32)

Which governor do you think has a better chance of getting into heaven? I know what I think, though I don’t believe in heaven. I’m working to help people here on earth. And that means working to recall Walker. I hope Christians remove the scales from their eyes and start doing the same, for the sake of our state, and for their souls also.

As to political reform, I am less optimistic.

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Where I’ve Been Is Easy; No Idea Where I’m Going

Posted on June 9, 2011 by

I’ve been away from the blah blah blah blogosphere for quite awhile now. Thanks to those who have sent inquiries asking where I’ve been. I was quite ill for a long while, but it does not account for the entire length of my absence. My illness led to a period of self-reflection that I think will cause me to divide up this blog site into sections of personal vs. political posts, as I do tend to switch between those topic matters quite a bit. But along me to wallow just a bit in what has been up as the two have crossed paths for me over the past couple of months.

When I am “down” I tend to read–a lot. And non-fiction, or at least historical fiction, is what I spend time reading. I’ve read about Vietnam, Area 51, India, Ethiopia, and Iran. The theme that ran through all the books I read is the same though; power corrupts. We are seeing that here in Wisconsin, and I will be writing more about that very soon. I do want to note that while I have not been able to be active, I am proud that one member of my family has  been living in Walkerville full time, protesting at the budget meetings, and keeping the pressure on those  who want to give to the rich and take from the poor.

My time has been largely consumed by consumed within the immediate family. One evening last week my son with the heart condition scared our entire family during dinner. He got up to get some salad from the kitchen (our family eats buffet style, due to our large size) and we heard his voice say a quiet “Help!” We all turned just in time to see him trying to grab the cupboard as he crumbled to the floor. His dad and I both rushed to his side, and saw that his lips were blue; his sister Sarah grabbed the blood pressure kit as I checked his pulse. He ended up taking a “rest” on the floor while I spoke to the on-call pediatric cardiologist. We determined that because he had not slept enough the previous night, and therefore slept in late, he had not had sufficient fluid intake for the previous 24 hours, and was simply low on fluids, so didn’t need to go to the hospital. But it was scary, and we all feared it could have been “that moment” when he could have had that fatal arrhythmia. VERY frightening.

There is also new news with the youngest in the family, our darling 7 year-old, Claire. She was falling out of bed, so I started sleeping with her, only to note that she was having nighttime seizures. An EEG confirmed spikes in her left frontal lobe. This is bad news in kids with Mitochondrial disease. She had bad seizures the first year of her life, and we thought she had outgrown them. Numerous EEGs since then had been clean. But–this is how it is. She has been losing skills in terms of learning, so we need baseline testing to see where she is now to gauge where she will be in the future. She is being given a with through the MakeAWish Foundation of Wisconsin. Her muscle weakness is much more evident, too. ::sigh::

Finally, Tim, who has already spent so much of his life interrupted by this disease, is missing sophomore Finals. He went to bed at 8PM on Sunday night and woke a few hours later with a fever of 103, and began the classic Mito response–vomiting, shaking, profound weakness. He should have gone to the hospital, but at age 16, is able to refuse, and wanted to try to fight it off at home.  For once, I allowed him this, but four days later he is still too weak to do even eat much food. I understand not wanting  to be in the hospital on an I.V., but he probably would be better by now. As it is, with just drinking Sprite and resting on his own, it will be twice as long. But he is growing up and trying to do it his way, and I have to respect that, as long as he does not seem in danger of death.

In a bit of good news, a young man I consider to be an adopted son (he lived with us for awhile during his high school years), Justin, is soon to be a father! This will be my first “grandchild” so I am pretty pleased about that. He brought Monica here to the house to announce it, and I am tickled pink–or blue, I’ll take either.

With my daughter Sarah home for the summer helping with home improvement projects, I hope to shake the last of my funk out, and get myself motivated to make a real plan for the future. I live so day to day, and that has always been necessary. However, I think it’s time that to try to do more with myself than only live moment by moment. Painting a wall seems like a huge commitment, so you can only imagine what a big deal thinking about where I’ll be five years now is!

Don’t even mention paperwork….

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